The truth is that our bodies are imperfectly perfect. The right person loves us anyway. It's typically us who has the real issue when it comes to our changing bodies.
For any woman standing in front of a mirror with chicken wings lifted high throwing fists to the Heavens saying, "Really God!?! Really?!" I promise you will be okay. But we have work to do!
You (nor I) can rewind and undo the damage that's been done. Although that's not entirely true, first it's important to embrace the inevitable. Our bodies change just as our lives do.
Let's ask ourself the real
questions when it comes to our body image issues:
Do I feel good about my body?
Do I feel I am desirable?
Why does it matter to me if my body is competitive with the women around me? (Btw: This is extremely important. Is it for the attention? To attract a mate? To feel powerful and influential? What is your reason? It determines a lot about how to change your perspective on how you feel when it comes to your body.)
Do men find me attactive?
Do I feel sexy?
Am I feeling confident or would I feel more confident if I were better built?
Each of those questions affect how we see ourselves. They are relevant to how we relate to the world and in our feelings about what we care about.
There are two things I can tell you in this instant when it comes to how we want to look verses how we should look:
1. If you look at the magazine cover above, her legs are photoshoped. If you ask me, she's probably a size zero. I'm not sure about you but when I was a kid I liked to cuddle with my teddy bears. Barbie sat in the closet. Take that to heart. [Note: Skinny girls have issues too!...they get left in closets! :] But in all seriousness, no one walks in someone else's shoes. Every girl has issues.
2. The the more obsessed you are with beauty, the more you will notice your imperfections on a daily basis. This is very real! Stop being crazy!
There are things we can control about our bodies, and things we can't.
For instance, we can control our weight. It doesn't matter if it's hard or not or the excuses we make, the raw harsh reality is if we truly wanted to against all odds, up hill both ways, we could lose or gain wait, whichever our ailment.
The things we can not control however, are stretch marks, lose skin from pregnancy, vericose veins, smile lines, and wrinkles.
The only thing we can truly do is slow the aging process and love ourselves along the way. Click here for anti-aging and skin care product solutions. To be crystal clear and keep open lines of communication with my guests and viewers: This is a product line I fully endorse and have a vested financial interest in because I believe in the product and it is now part of my company platform. So many women deal with these issues and I wanted a way to help them and say, "Ah-Ha! I have a solution." And now I do.
The bad news in all of this is you're still going to have to develop a more loving relationships with yourself and you're still going to get older; It just may happen slower by taking proactive steps.
If attracting men is your main focus when it comes to beauty, you're in luck!
Men don't care the way you think they do. Isn't that' more great news?!
Let's unravel a key ingredient when it comes to getting what you want in the dating and mating department. Be your authentice self. Be a sassy, classy, fun girl and the world is yours! Be REAL! Stop romanticizing or trying to be perfect and just bethe most AMAZING YOU!
When it comes to any woman facing body-image issues it's women and their insecurities who make excuses why they can't get what they want when it comes to love or a happy healthy sex life. This in itself is a whole book.
If frustration over finding an ideal mate in your quest to keeping a healthy fun sex life is coming from an excuse of an 'unattractive' body image, then it's time to embrace and love the skin you're in! Because there's someone out there who loves your shape, form, size, weight, height, eye color, kinky side, soft side, strentch marks, dwarf hands, handicap health problem, lazy eye, missing toe, cankles, quadraplegic, obesity, skin spots, etc. You might happen not be interested in them! Or maybe you already have that someone who loves you but can't seem to understand why. Only you know for sure.
But, take back your personal power!
Your body shape and size has less to do with being sexually desired in the ways you think. Whatever you believe isn't desirable about you, I challenge to do some research. Click on any fetish site and instantly find what you're looking for! (Be prepared to be scared for life!) Just because we might not be particularly interested in meeting these people doesn't mean they aren't available. I'm sure one or two have decent hearts along with equal sexual compatibility. Then again, it's personal preference and maybe not.
The point is, all the excuses on why we can't have what we want when it comes to dating and mating can be tossed because the reality is, you can get it. You may just not want to. I tend to agree that not many people want to say they met their mate on CreamSickleOnDarkChocolateOreoBliss.com.
Lots of people hit on you, talk to you, engage with you... You just don't notice or desire that person in return or, you discount your loved ones thoughts because we're taught from a young age to hate ourselves.
It's all about your perspective!
The people who do matter, already love you just the way you are. (No perfect a** required.) The only requirement is that it's YOU!
Don't discount the relationships you're already in based on beauty. Because you're already beautiful and desired by a great many people. It just so happens we often overlook them because it's not what WE are looking for or wanting for us. And that's okay! But here are a few people who love you (as they should) just the way you are.
To your kids, you're a hero. To your parents, you're beautiful. To your friends, you're amazing. To strangers you've infected with your love and care, you're a saving grace. And that's what counts! That's where your life and your beauty matter most. And your body is the vessle that allowed it all to happen! Own that love first. Because when you can wrap yourself in the beauty of who you are and the relationships around you, the depth of your beauty is much more profound.
Next time you reach for a cheeseburger, ask for a salad. Next time you justify needing a gym membership, start by taking 10 minute walks each morning and meeting all the other walkers and joggers in your neighborhood. Get your energy up. Because that's all it takes to get your body back on track to doing you a favor by being activie in it's desire to help you achieve your goals.
It's our job to fall in love with our bodies again and own our confidence! It's our job to fall in love with the right person who loves us as we are (wrinkles, fat rolls, loose skin, and age spots included)! It's our job to do what we can to love ourselves! No one else can do it for us.
A woman who is confident in herself (no matter her body shape) has nothing to fear because she owns her life and stops the world in it's tracks because pf her beauty inside and out. A woman in confidence lets her attitude do the talking and her heels do the walking. That alone is much more alluring to men (including husbands) than any tatted up skinny bitch who isn't old enough for a laugh line. :)
Think about it. Older expereinced women have a lot to offer a man. Older women also have ALOT to offer the world with their love, and grace, and lessons already learned with or without a man!