Who is InvincibleVictoria?
Who I am today is not at all who I was. Who I was helped build the foundation for who I would become but, only because of the lessons learned. The pain part of yesterday I left behind in order to get what I want for me! If I can do it, anyone can. Because I was the most over-emotional mess of girl that ever lived compared to who I am today.
Today I am a motivational coach, relationship expert, and business owner. I have multiple business ventures and pride myself on the idea that others told me it couldn't be done. I am a real estate agent for my clients and friends who need it, an anti-aging beauty consultant for clients and friends worrying about their aging health, and an entreprenuer who shares with others opportunities to achieve financial success. People need help working out their issues. They need a map or a plan to get what they want. I have creative solutions and resources to help them find a way to solve their problems.
There have been dozens of people telling me I lack focus, direction, and that I can not be all things to all people. My beliefs about who I am are the only ones that matter. The same holds true in your life as well. Each day I wake up and prove to myself :
"I can. I will. I have."
The relationships we are in often define our lives. They can be limiting or freeing. Everything in our lives get determined by the relationships we hold. Notice banking practices and businesses have moved away from personal relationships. Why? Because the 'human element'loses money. The 'relationship' we have determines how we make decisions. If you know someone and their story, and they are late on a payment, you know if they are trustworthy or if they aren't. If you have an amazing relationship with someone, you ultimately try to help. If the relationship sucks then only one person really is getting what they need from it and that is unhealthy.
Unhealthy realtionships affect us in a multitude of ways. The inability to connect on deeper level with people close to us hinder us from being who we are.
How are your relationships? With your parents. With your spouse. With your friends. With your co-workers or your boss. With your clients.
Most importantly, how is the relationship you have with yourself?
Have you ever noticed often you wouldn't talk to a friend the way you constantly badmouth or blame yourself? What good is it to your pysche if you are not willing to be your own bestfriend?
I know just how hard it can be believing in yourself and in your dreams after years (and often decades) of obstacles and defeat. Perhaps loved ones telling you you're not good enough, employers reprimanding every error not acknowledging accomplishments, or significant others telling their story how you're to blame for the mistakes in their life. Trust me, I've been there. I understand beyond any reasonable doubt the struggle of it all.
I founded Invincible Victoria, LLC to give a safe place for conversations to take place for women searching for something more. It is, and has been my greatest desire to help women overcome life's obstables mostly because I've spent as long as I can remember overcoming mine.
I rarely turn down opportunities to talk about sex, relationships, dream building, and goal-setting. I find it most especially fun to chat over a pint of Ben & Jerry's (and on occassion a veggie tray with ranch dressing)! When it comes to men in need of womanly advice (or help with their wives) I have online resources available and limited services. Believe it or not, men aren't always to blame. (OKay! Okay! But they're not!) So I talk about that too. However, my heart & soul is with women coming out of heartbreak who are looking to get their sexy back, take charge of their financial situation, harness emotional control, and own thier life again!
Let's talk ideals for a minute:
My ideal life was to go to college, get a medal of valour for graduating, and be handed a corner office or to build my own company. Well, that didn't go as planned. In fact, not even close. Not only did I not get into the college of my choice, I had to settle for a completely different major and relinquish my dream of becoming an architect. Life can be full of disappointments and detours. In fact, I'd say life can be a whirlwind rollercoaster ride if you let it be. Fortunately however, life has a way of 'auto-correcting' if we are open to it. The idea is knowing how to exit the ride and get back on track to the rest of your life, which is my specialty when it comes to training and lessons. So, we can discuss ideals v. the messy business of life.
My ideal relationship was to meet and marry a strong (but compassionate) successful high-achieving business-man who would support my dreams to build an empire while he builds his. This man would be someone who loved to be around me, who felt lucky to have me in his court, and who could build things (like a house) with with his own bare hands. (who doesn't love a man with calloused hands?!) This man is someone who would spoil me with romance by traveling the world (in his private jetliner of course) not simply because I wanted him to but, because he wanted it forhim too and always have trinkets of diamonds and lingerie waiting for me when I least expect it. Clearly I thought this through! (What girl hasn't?)
Of course in this ideal love affair I would be more than willing to support his dreams and ambitions in return. With so much thought put into this, what exactly went wrong?
Well, other than the very short list of men who fit this utopian dream, sex went wrong (among other issues I couldn't see at the time). Hot Climactic Sex seemingly was never part of this "perfect man/ideal relationship" equation when the check list was being created. Worse, since this ideal relationship was established well-before I even knew great sex existed how was I to know a girl could completely throw an entire list of desires out the window all because the sex was so good?! The things us gals will settle for when we aren't paying attention. It's time to wake up!
Great sex ...
(mixed with confusion and half-truths)
...nearly ruined me.
My husband took me by surprise. It is something I was utterly unprepared for in life. Great sex mixed with charm and manipulation and promises of forever along with carefully planted seeds of happily-ever-after did me in. It was like a whirwind romance. Unfortunately, the goal for him was to create a family and then tell me who I should want to be - as a stay at home mom. Nevertheless, we got married. Life was full of happy and not so happy since the very begining. Then again, I always thought there was something wrong with me. Why was I always on edge? How come no one seemed to understand? Was I depressed, bipolar, or have some kind of menatsl illness? After all, he always told me he believed I had all of those things, especially since cleaning the house wasn't my thing and I was always working on business plans in the background.
Seven years of marriage unallowed to work, on demand to a husband, full-time volunteer just to have something in this world that is mine, and raising two back to back children, I had spent most of the former decade wanting to do a little bit of everything searching for something - anything - to get me back to my regularly scheduled life. (You know, the life you don't have to ask permission to live or work so hard at to fit others people's version of who they believe you're supposed to be.)
I was never a lay down and take it kind of girl and had so much energy for life until I met him. In high school I was in theater, dance, soccer, journalism, and even bowling. In college it was leadership, event planning, and professional mentorship programs. I once stooped so low as to become Secretary of the Italian Club even though to this day I still can not actually speak Italian. "If you don't pick something and stick with it, you'll never be good at anything," the cynics would say. Hmph!... I beg to differ. I call it a diverse portfolio. It seems all the meandering finally came together building the cornerstones to the rest of my life - Who I am today.
So who did I have to be
to get to be this chick?
I am the former Community Relations & Media Relations Liaison for a small non-profit, the Co-Founder of an amazing event called Mission: Hunger Resolve (dedicated to the ending the food crisis of decreased giving), I've had amazing experiences as a freelance journalist to meet pretty awesome people like Derek Gores (a world renowned collage artist), and incredible opportunities to befriend awe-inspiring everyday human beings making a difference in the lives of others.
Post-divorce I reclaimed my life one step at a time and have had the opportunity to take on positions such as becoming the Executive Assistant to the CEO in an "all-boys" club which lastest nearly a year and taught me everything I needed to know about running my own company. In that role I learned exactly what it truly means when someone says "it's hard working in a man's world." Indeed it can be. Yet, I survived! (And with dignity :)
In my so-called unfocused, under-employed yet, ironically overqualified resume, I've had the privilege of working as the Executive Marketing Director for nationally acclaimed filmmaker Tyrone Young and promote another cause I believe in - ending racial barriers through education.
What I didn't mention is the parts of life when the world fell apart and I had to start from the ground up over and over and over again; During those times I found myself working retail sales for the holidays, applying for jobs at Walmart and 3rd shift at 7-11, and even became a substitute teacher only to find some people are more qualified than others to handle tempermental teenagers and kindergarteners who love to wipe boogers on each other.
One day shortly after firing myself from that role I landed a gig in Vacation Ownership. Although I would have never said 'yes' to a hard-core sales job unless I was desperate, it's led me up to this point and I can only look back and apologize for all my Italian-tempered tantrums to God and be thankful for the lessons learned. You don't know who you are until you try and fail. You also don't know what you're made of until you sink and learn to swim (or float to the top - because often we don't need to try as hard as we do).
I've taken chances and let it mold me. I've learnned to embrace the possibilities of life's unknowns, expect change to happen (sometimes painfully), and to get up and try, try, try again. I've become fearless in this pursuit.
I've learned to listen to my intuition & allow it to lead the way. It's there for a reason. It's time others see that for themselves too. Women need to know how beautiful they are, even in their brokenness, and that life isn't over...it's only just begun...again! In a better time, in a better place, with better wisdom and knowlegde, and understanding for who you are. I'm here to help get what you want for you!
In the words of Holistic Health Coach Shahnaz Nensey, "it is divine responsibility to share your being and energy with others so they too can ignite and share their energy and being with the world." [By the way, shameless plug, she has the most amazing healthy vegetarian Inidian recipies ever!]
No matter the roads we travel, life has its way of showing us who we are and bringing us back to our purpose; to that place where we belong when we stop resisting and give in...to ourselves. We are all things amazing when we commit to the desires of our inner-being and seek out the best in everything. I hope you will always seek to be your very best version of yourself. Blessings always... Now go kick some ass! -I*V